Psychotherapy matters. I recently had a conversation with a friend who said that he believed that a person would never need to consult with a psychotherapist if he or she had a “really good friend—someone who will honestly tell you about yourself and help you see yourself objectively.” He had never been in therapy and had typically managed to sort through various dilemmas on his own or with the help of a few intimates. He admitted that he’d recently considered a consulting with a therapist to help him manage feelings of anxiety that plagued him throughout a period of unemployment; but now that he is working again, he dismissed the idea of entering therapy.
The conversation got me thinking about my own work as a therapist. I’ve been working in mental health and addictions for more a long time, and I continue to be astonished by the misperceptions and mistaken beliefs many people have about what psychotherapy is, why people go to therapy, and how it helps people.
Psychotherapy and friendship are very different experiences. And while I agree that a good friend is vital for most people and can provide useful insights and feedback, psychotherapy offers a great deal more. Psychotherapy provides a freedom and space to explore yourself, to understand how you work, to help you find ways of living that are best for you. The psychotherapist is someone who creates a safe space where it becomes possible to be vulnerable, take risks, try new ways of thinking and acting, help you through a change process (if this is what you want), and find optimal mental health. It most definitely is not a friendship (although, hopefully, the psychotherapist will be friendly.)
The title of this blog can be understood in two ways: first, it refers to the wide variety of issues—matters—that regularly arise during the course of psychotherapy: intimacy, relationships, addiction, depression, anxiety, the experience of powerlessness, among others. Second, the title reflects my belief that psychotherapy does indeed matter—that it has a purpose, that is positively changes those who experience it, that it helps, that it works.
My goal here is to share insights on a variety of issues that arise in the consultation room. The blog is not intended to be a substitute for therapy, but rather a place to share information, stimulate thinking, dialogue with others, and perhaps even correct some of the misperceptions about psychotherapy and the therapeutic process. The nature of blogging also prohibits lengthy and deep discourse on clinical topics. Thus, these are thoughts and reflections stimulated by the work in the consultation room. They are not meant to be definitive statements on psychotherapeutic practice.
The blog is, however, one clinician’s perspective, on clinical problems and processes. It is a means of sharing “practice wisdom.”